jump to navigation

someone at work… August 27, 2004

Posted by introspectreangel in work.
3 comments

…has decided they are not pleased that i keep my career options open. this person printed out the entry in which i wrote about being offered an interview at another hotel and placed it in the mailbox of our human resources director, with no name attached. i’m not certain what this person is trying to accomplish through these actions. i have been a loyal and dedicated employee for two years, and i have openly communicated with our succession of front office managers, as well as our vice president and national director of sales at the corporate office about my desire to move into a revenue role. it’s no secret, if you know who to ask. i would prefer to move into a revenue management role with the company i work for now. i love it here. however, i am always looking at other companies as well. i desire career advancement, and if there is no upward track for me here, when the right opportunity comes, i will move on – simple as that. it’s the way of the world.

Advertisements

happy sunday! August 22, 2004

Posted by introspectreangel in life, movies, moving.
3 comments

today is for complete relaxation. yesterday was for appliance-shopping drudgery and tomorrow is for packing-more-boxes unpleasantness, but today is for lunch out in a real restaurant with waiters, a movie, the fancy specialty food market, and maybe some swimming if the sun comes out. oh, and maybe we’ll run by the bookstore, too. i need to pick up some sort of “gardening for dummies” book since once we get moved into our new house with an actual yard i fully intend to wear funny hats and grow tomatoes and cucumbers. can’t you just picture it?

what should we see? “napoleon dynamite”, “garden state”, or “open water”?

wtf, mates?! August 20, 2004

Posted by introspectreangel in blogthings, funny.
add a comment

paste it into your browser.  i can’t get html code to work.

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/play/710

and i feel fine…

i find the best stuff in ally’s blog. August 19, 2004

Posted by introspectreangel in blogthings.
add a comment

here, have a little piece of heaven on earth…

now i don’t know which is better – this, or peeling dead skin from your body after a sunburn.

stop me if you think you’ve heard this one before – the smiths August 16, 2004

Posted by introspectreangel in chaos, lyrics.
4 comments

believe your life is shit and shit it will become. i was in a pretty bad car accident on the way home from work today. when i finally got to look at my car, i couldn’t believe i walked away. the entire driver’s side is literally caved in, front and rear doors both. and get this – when i asked the lady who hit me for her insurance, she refused to give it to me. she insisted that i was the one who hit her, and when i told her, “no, you were the one who hit me”, she sucked her breath in real deep and started hysterically babbling in vietnamese. all i got after that was her pointing at the sky and screaming, “God sees, he knows you lying!! God sees!”

God sees all right, lady. God sees just bloody fine. you, on the other hand – that’s debatable.

i’m alive and unhurt. my car is being repaired. i have a nice rental. these things happen every day. this blog has become one big lousy endless pep talk, hasn’t it?

stop me, oh, stop me

stop me if you think that you’ve heard this one before

stop me, oh, stop me

stop me if you think that you’ve heard this one before

nothing’s changed, i still love you, oh, i still love you…

only slightly, only slightly less than i used to, my love

i was delayed, i was way-laid

an emergency stop

i smelt the last ten seconds of life

i crashed down on the crossbar

and the pain was enough to make

a shy, bald, Buddhist reflect

and plan a mass murder

who said i’d lied to her ?

oh, who said i’d lied because i never ? i never !

who said i’d lied because i never ?

i was detained, i was restrained

and broke my spleen

and broke my knee(and then he really laced into me)

friday night in out-patients

who said i’d lied to her ?

oh, who said i’d lied ? – because i never, i never

who said i’d lied ? – because i never

oh, so i drank one

it became four

and when i fell on the floor ……i drank more

stop me, oh, stop me

stop me if you think that you’ve

heard this one before

stop me, oh, stop me

stop me if you think that you’ve heard this one before

nothing’s changed

i still love you, oh, i still love you…only slightly, only slightly less than i used to, my love

the sky is a poisonous garden – concrete blonde August 15, 2004

Posted by introspectreangel in blogging, depression, friends, lyrics, moving, work.
add a comment

haven’t felt much like blogging lately. we haven’t even actually moved yet and i’m dead exhausted thinking about all the packing still left to do. we signed the lease on the new house saturday. it will be good to get out of this tiny apartment, but there’s too much to do, and not enough money and time to do it. i haven’t done anything at all about trying to find a new job closer to where we’re moving, and contemplating the one hour each way commute from new house to current job is one more thing that depresses me. i can’t find my sunny, optimistic self to save my life. i want to go to sleep and sleep forever. i don’t want to go back on meds, but i’m beginning to wonder if i have a choice in the matter. i know what’s happening here, and i know how it ends, and why would i want to travel that road again?

there is one good thing to write about – when packing up the big box of cassette tapes that was under the bed (yes, i still have tapes i can’t part with, and i’m not ashamed to admit it), i found my favorite long lost pair of earbud headphones. ok, it might not be any big deal to anyone else, but it is to me. i guess i must have oddly shaped ears or something, because regular ear buds won’t stay in my ears, but these are attached to the thingies that fit around the outside of your ears so they won’t fall out. the set was given to me (i think? maybe i borrowed them and never gave them back, i don’t remember) by a friend that was very dear to me, whom i no longer stay in touch with except by email a few times a year. so that’s one more thing to make me sad.

bwah. good night.

the stars above shine down below

the fever you hold on this night deathly cold

i can feel from this side of the door

i can feel eleanor

he said sun don’t rise

he said sun don’t shine

he said don’t bring tomorrow to justify tonight

the moon is full

the stars are bright

and the sky is a poisonous garden tonight

moving is a pain in my arse. last night i got m… August 6, 2004

Posted by introspectreangel in birthdays, friends, moving.
4 comments

moving is a pain in my arse.

last night i got most of the living room packed up – i just need to track down about three more decently sized boxes for our movies and all my candles, and then that room will be finished. i took a bunch of old computer parts to office depot to be recycled – several monitors and keyboards and mouses and a couple of towers, as well as two old cell phones. ’tis long past time for the computer graveyard to GO! all we’re keeping is the one working laptop, two sets of speakers, an ethernet hub, and miles and miles of cat 5 (he won’t let me get rid of those cables, grrr!).

tonight i’m going out with some friends for a belated birthday celebration – s called to ask if i wanted to know what we were doing or if i liked surprises. i said that in the past i have not liked surprises, but hey, it’s a new year – let’s try something new. she also said that what we were doing would make will jealous?! so, i’m at a complete loss. my darling dearest is not the jealous type (even when i wish he would be!), so i can’t for the life of me imagine what is in store for me tonight.

lord have mercy.

i’m angel. August 5, 2004

Posted by introspectreangel in life.
add a comment

i’m angel.

i’m a survivor of sexual violence. no pity. no shame. no silence.

if you haven’t already read this livejournal thread, it’s worth reading now.

“I wondered for a moment what it would look like if just for one day, everyone who had survived sexual violence were visible as a survivor, if we could actually see the extent of it, if we could all know just how very not-alone we are.”

so, my dr. must have realized i took her magazines… August 3, 2004

Posted by introspectreangel in health.
4 comments

so, my dr. must have realized i took her magazines or something, because she called me at work today to tell me that some of my test results showed some abnormalities (pre-cancerous cells) and that i need to come back for another look.

since i happen to be miss “worst case scenario” 2004, i immediately called my husband and extracted from him a promise to remain close to my family should i die, even if he remarries, so our son will know his grandparents and aunt and uncle. ok, so i’m aware i’m probably overreacting. i’m sure everything is fine.

everything is fine, everything is fine, everything is fine. if i repeat it often enough, it will be true.