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progress comes in baby steps. August 26, 2005

Posted by introspectreangel in chaos, health, life.
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today i paid another $100 on my hospital ER bill, and i paid off the radiology bill entirely. i also took a settlement offer on an old southwestern bell bill and paid 60% of the balance to have the debt forgiven. i’m told it will show up on my credit report as “settled in full” instead of “paid in full”. but that’s gotta be better than, “yo, she ain’t paid nuthin’ on this bill, fo’shizzle!” (although i can’t see experian and trans union using that particular vernacular – those equifax fuckers though – i wouldn’t put it past them) next up is getting an old warrant paid off so i can finally get my driver’s license in this new state and claim state residency for school tuition purposes.

life moves forward. Boy-o and i are going home to this weekend since husband is working. all three of us will go next weekend for the labor day holiday.

from CityCulture.org Test Results Extroversion 6… August 21, 2005

Posted by introspectreangel in blogthings.
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from CityCulture.org

Test Results

Extroversion
60%

Emotional Stability
60%

Orderliness
73%

Accommodation
43%

Inquisitiveness
66%

Your sloan type is SCOEI
Your primary type is Organized

You are social, calm, organized, moderately egocentric, and intellectual, and may prefer a city which matches those traits.

The largest representation of your personality type can be found in the these U.S. cities: Salt Lake City, Albuquerque/Santa Fe, Providence, Phoenix, Reno, Norfolk, Indianapolis, Seattle/Tacoma, Las Vegas, Oklahoma City, Miami/Ft. Lauderdale and these international countries/regions Denmark, Israel, Argentina, Greece, India, Iceland, Romania, Sweden, China, Turkey, South Africa, Middle East, Japan, Indonesia, Italy

hmmm. interesting.

hello darkness my old friend… August 13, 2005

Posted by introspectreangel in depression, family, life.
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she couldn’t have picked a household task that it would be possible for me to hate any more than dusting. for my own household i deliberately chose furniture that didn’t require this. it was my assigned chore as a kid and i will forever associate it with getting my head smacked into the end tables when my dusting didn’t pass the military white glove test. so everyone can just fucking excuse me if while i’m down on my hands and knees dusting the wood on the staircase i have tears running down my face. i’m just not in my happy place at that time, ok?

on a related subject, i want to puke every time i hear that man’s name. the man beat my husband to within an inch of his fucking life when he was a teenager, and i’m supposed to be pleased that he sent a gift to my sister-in-law? give me a damn break.

blessed are the peacemakers. i mean it, blessed are they. i’d love to be able to say that i want to forgive and just can’t, but it’s not that simple. for the moment, i like being pissed.

once in a lifetime August 9, 2005

Posted by introspectreangel in lyrics.
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it’s getting dark too soon
a threatening silence surrounding me
a wind comes up from the islands
when distance fades to stormy grey
washed out from the deep of the ocean
here i will stand to face your wrath
while all the others are praying

calm down, my heart – don’t beat so fast
don’t be afraid, just once in a lifetime
calm down, my heart – don’t beat so fast
don’t be afraid, just once in a lifetime

no rain can wash away my tears
no wind can soothe my pain
you made me doubt, you made me fear
but now i’m not the same
you took my wife, my unborn son
torn into the deep of the ocean
i don’t pretend that i love you
cause there is nothing left to lose

and when silence comes back to me
i find myself feeling lonely
standing here on the shores of destiny
i find myself feeling lonely
i had a life to give, many dreams to live
don’t you know that you’re losing so much this time?
beyond the waves, i will be free
while all the others are praying

calm down my heart – don’t beat so fast
don’t be afraid, just once in a lifetime
calm down my heart – don’t beat so fast
don’t be afraid, just once in a lifetime

no rain can wash away my tears
no wind can soothe my pain
you made me doubt you made me fear
but now i’m not the same
you took my wife, my unborn son
torn into the deep of the ocean
i don’t pretend that i love you
cause there is nothing left to lose

the love in you, it does not burn
there is no lesson you can learn
and there are sounds you cannot hear
and there are feelings you can’t feel

calm down, my heart – don’t beat so fast
don’t be afraid, just once in a lifetime

i don’t pretend that i love you
and this time i’m not scared of you

wedding August 7, 2005

Posted by introspectreangel in Boy-o.
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Boy-o had fun at the wedding 🙂 (the bottle’s empty, relax!)

congratulations! August 7, 2005

Posted by introspectreangel in family.
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congratulations, guys!