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It’s a girl! And she’s 13! November 22, 2006

Posted by introspectreangel in The Princess.
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Princess Ow has lived with my parents since she was 18 months old, when her biological father and I went our separate ways. This happened because I was a 17 year old child myself, the relationship was a very violent one, and the Princess herself was severely abused. It was very ugly – she was hurt in a way that no child ever should be. What happened to her happened when she was so little that she has no conscious memory of it, but the field of psychology tells me that it is still with her, regardless, and probably always will be. It will most likely manifest in the inability to ever make healthy adult attachments with others. Gee, should I be scared yet? In any case, our family had pretty much agreed years ago that as long as The Princess knew how everyone was related, i.e. that I am her biological mom and not really her big sister, that she should live wherever she is most comfortable, and that has always been with my parents. Enter THE ADOLESCENT YEARS…

In the last two years since she found out about her childhood abuse, her behavior has been on a steady downward slide. How much of this is due to simply being 13 and how much to her childhood trauma I don’t know. But long story short, my parents are in their 50’s and no longer able to deal with her. In spite of all of our best efforts, the love and care of a large family, and a stable, financially secure environment in which to grow up happy and healthy, she’s managed to get herself into a bit of trouble. She’s also in need of serious, specific therapy at this point. Last night, my sister, who is a Child Protective Services caseworker down in Texas, called me and said (in her I’m-totally-done-with-this-crap voice), “YOUR daughter wants to come live with you RIGHT NOW. I’ll drive her up tomorrow. What’s a good time?”

So, I’m excited and worried all at the same time. Should I be buying cigars in a pink box or fitting out a cell for her?!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

In the words of President Bush to Nancy Pelosi this morning… November 8, 2006

Posted by introspectreangel in politics.
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“Congresses change, but issues don’t.”

I only have the news reports to inform my opinions – I’m not privy to the conversations our elected leaders hold with one another and therefore have limited information to work with, but I believe with all my heart it is a good thing in the political arena when the balance of power shifts. The voters have said it is time for a change, and perhaps the Democrats can deliver. Perhaps they can’t. Ideologically, the party is a long way from the party that stood for family values and the working individual and equality of opportunity for all so may decades ago, but perhaps they can. I am genuinely glad to read that our President called Nancy Pelosi this morning to invite her to lunch, and I am equally delighted that she accepted the invitation in the spirit of cooperation. Trumpeting one’s success only contributes to ongoing divisiveness and overall meanness.

Overall, I’m most impressed with the state of Arizona. The voters passed a slew of measures that seem to chart a “via media” course, which might not be surprising considering that John McCain is an Episcopalian. 🙂 Arizona approved measures that arose out of frustration with the influx of illegal immigrants, and I believe that overall, I support these. Illegal immigration is a tremendous drain on the economy, but I have had a difficult time in the past reconciling this awareness with my belief that all human beings are entitled to opportunity and decency and respect. I think that overall, I support illegal immigrants not being allowed to draw taxpayer-funded government benefits, but I also know that there are many industries that would not function at their current levels without them and that these individuals for the most part do pay into FICA and Medicare and Social Security. In my mind, the best solution seems to be removing some of the many bureaucratic barriers illegals face to becoming legal, and while they are in the transition process, forcing them to be self-sufficient and turn to private sources of assistance, not relying on public funds to get by. Ideally, this would mean that when they become legal, they wouldn’t need public assistance at that time either – but if they did, they would then be entitled to it. Arizona also raised the state minimum wage and declined to pass an amendment to their state constitution that would ban gay marriage, civil unions, and domestic partnerships. I told husband when the day comes that our family settles in one place, we should go to Arizona. He got that befuddled look on his face that he always gets when I make random statements, and said he didn’t think he’d like the desert. Ah well, another plan up in smoke…!!!

No posting for the last little while… November 8, 2006

Posted by introspectreangel in blogging, theology, unemployment.
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…just not feelin’ the whole blog thing lately, I guess, and not having regular Internet access is not making me happy. It’ll probably be the end of November – start of December before I can get a mileage reimbursement check, which I hope to then turn around and use to get a satellite Internet installer out to our little house in the boonies, since there’s no cable and no DSL available. And with no Internet, I can’t find out where anything is in this town, so in the meantime, I call Ally like, EVERY DAY. “Where’s the post office?” “What’s a good place for pizza?” “Can you tell me where the nearest 24 hour pharmacy is on my way to my work?” I’m so lucky – who else has a friend AND personal search engine all in one lovely package?

Husband had another interview today with an inpatient substance abuse rehab facility, and my only concern about it is that it’s about 75 miles from home. He applied absolutely everywhere that he was qualified to in the city we live in, but the fact that it is a college town means there is high supply of qualified graduates who want to stay in town bumping right up against low demand for those same graduates – someone who just moved here and doesn’t have any contacts doesn’t really have a prayer. So, he’s been drawing ever-widening circles on the map around our city and moving further and further out in his job search. Once again, he’s got a really good feeling about this latest interview, and once again, he has been told a decision will be made by the end of the week. They told him if he IS hired, they would do the supervision for his CADC (Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor) for no cost, which is pretty freakin’ awesome.

I’m still doing the Spiritual Exercises. I’ve moved out of the preparatory week activities and into the “Principle and Foundation”, which has to do with why we are created. We are created by God to love and serve Him because He loves us and wants to share life with us, so our response to that love takes the shape of praise, honor, and service. First of all, Ignatius says that we must make ourselves “indifferent” to all created things, which gave me some serious pause, because naturally I thought of “indifferent” in our modern context of “not caring”. The commentary I’m using chooses different words: when Ignatius says it is necessary for us to make ourselves “indifferent” to all created things, he is really saying we must hold ourselves “in balance” before such things as health or sickness, wealth or poverty, success or failure, a long life or a short one, and not fix our desires on these things, as they are barriers to being able to offer a completely loving response to God and desiring to share our lives forever with Him.